Sunday, October 14, 2007

Turning ones sight inward

It's isn't always a fun thing. Looking into yourself that is. Its so much easier to ignore yourself and focus on outside distractions. I find it personally easier to imagine I'm ok then to actually take time to focus on myself. It's easier because whenever I do honestly, key word being honestly, look at myself I find that all isn't ok. I'm not meaning to say that I have huge inner burdens to do battle with, it isn't about the size or severity of the issue. Maybe I do, Maybe I don't, but I think that we all will always have things in ourselves that we know we could better.

This is a transition time in my life. As such, I know that I need to focus and turn my eyes on myself. I'm not always happy about that, but I know I need to. I don't know what I'm going to find, but I'm going to genuinely attempt to allow God to show me my faults in his eyes, to finally smarten up, and grow up spiritually. I truly believe he is pointing things out in my life, its my responsibility not to turn the blind eye.

I've joined a small group this year at the church I attend. We're currently working through a series called "Whats so Amazing About Grace". I seem to take a little bit from each session, one that has been stuck in my mind lately was the session on Forgiveness. When you really think about it the line "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us" becomes a scary thought. Purely for the "as WE forgive those who trespass against us". Sometimes forgiveness isn't always easy, but its a requirement, not an option. Forgiveness however, does not mean that the relationship has to be mended to its previous state. It's an interesting concept to truly ponder. Forgiveness of others, as well as, Forgiveness of oneself.

1 comment:

Kim said...

I agree with you about how hard it is to honestly look at yourself instead of looking at others. We all tend to find someone else to blame for the hardships in our lives, whether we think they caused our hardship on purpose of just as a result of their choices through life. But in the end, we are each responsible for our own well-being and that includes our spiritual, emotional and physical condition. The even harder part is doing something about those things that we find wrong in ourselves instead of just saying "that's the way God made me".

I can see you are learning the lessons and taking the steps. Keep leaning on God for direction and strength and I know you won't go wrong!

Love you.
Mom