Mexico eh.

I just had like a 45 - 60 minute conversation in the doorway of my apartment building with some friends of mine. I think I shall try to get into good spiritual conversation with friends more often. I kind of find it sad in a way that a really good spiritual conversation is few and far between with myself and the friends I go to church with. I think I'm going to try to influence that to change if I can. I guess we'll see.

One of the things that came up was my contemplation on a short terms mission trip to Mexico in October I believe that was presented to our church a few weeks ago. When it was first brought up I was like "oh that might be cool to be involved in, but I don't think I can afford to go, I'll find out what it would cost". So I talked to our pastor and found out what it would cost. My initial reaction was one of theres no way. I feel like Jerven and Rob ( the Lead pastor and youth pastor respectively ) have both expressed that it would be a good experience for me to have though. That coupled with the fact that the last 8 - 10 months or so have been months where I've felt like I've grown in my spiritual maturity probably more so then I have in a long time lead me to the conclusion that I NEED to go. Perhaps its a selfish reasoning, one that will end up with me not taking from it what it has the potential to show me in my life I don't know. I do know however that I feel like it will be a growing experience. I am stating right now, that I will be going. Barring any complications that do not allow me to go. I have said that cost was an issue in my mind. In reality, its not an issue, my job and current living situation will allow me to raise the funds on my own without requiring me to ask for help if I make myself do it. The excuse just doesn't hold water. I can't allow that to be the reason I don't go, and thankfully I have friends that will hold me accountable to that. I know that if this is where God wants me to go so he can break and mold me, even in any small way, I need to do my best to get there. I know that I'll probably "feel" like I can't do it, or I shouldn't do it. Satan has ways of influencing us not to follow Gods leading, and so I am thankful for my friends to hold me accountable to that.

I won't lie. It is an uncomfortable feeling for me to go on this trip. It will be a great deal out of my comfort zone. I need that. I need to be forced to see and question what I believe to be important in life. I hope that as I go I will be able to work hard to accomplish our building task down there, but also that God will break and build me. That he will use this experience to show me that the comfort I have here in Canada so easily blinds me to the lost and searching. That it allows me to sit back and believe everything is ok. That I can come back and have stretched my comfort zone out so I can be more effective as a believer to reach out to those around me.

So Mexico. Here I come.