Hopeless

So I was asked to write a piece influenced from the scripture found in 1st Kings 19:4 ( I believe its 4 ). Elijah is sitting under a tree praying for God to take his life. This is what I came up with, I hope that it can be used to give hope to someone who maybe finds themselves in a hopeless state at the moment. Here ya go...

This is a parental advisory
cuz I'm about to undress my heart
and let you see the real me
I'm about to expose my mind
bare my soul
and let you feel me
and there's some probability
that the words that I speak
will leave you angry with me
see there's a possibility
that a condition
that you've managed to keep hidden
is exactly the sickness
I'm expressing in this written
and as I stand here
and spit this so blatantly
it might cause you
to curse under your breath at me
see you might have to put on a happy face
and say things like
that poor boy
or
I can only imagine what that must taste like
but if you've never felt this stress
if you've never been so utterly hopeless and depressed
that you simply want the rythem in your chest to end then
you
are
blessed
I've failed that test with flying colors
and I can say with one hundred percent certainty
that I am not alone
there are others
others who have wished to
inhale and exhale their finale
to finally find the footnotes
of their life
and finish their final chapter
others who have dreamed
to be by Gods side
or perhaps I'm putting this to eloquently
and simply should say
others
who have wished to die
and I admit that I am one of them
I have stared at a blade
and consciously made the decision
to drag it across my flesh
I have considered
at what velocity
to approach an immovable object
in a motorized vehicle
so I would no longer have to feel
and I have debated
as to how far off a recommended dose is
from healing
to killing whats left
I have faced suicide from both sides of the coin
from finding a man that I adore
lying on the floor
gasping for his very breath
to forcefully fighting a knife
from a hand
that begged me to let it stay
I have looked hopelessness
in the eye
one to many times for my liking
and so I stand up here exposed
with this mic
and say to those who know
all to well the pain that flows
from the loss of hope
and say that
you are not alone
we all cling to this iconic imagery
of Christ Jesus
arms spread wide
hanging from a tree
but seem to lose sight
of the hope that this image
is supposed to give
to you and to me
we are not alone.

So there ya have it. Keep in mind its written to be spoken and its hard to write emotion into printed text. I am working on getting an mp3 copy. I'll post if I manage to get one if you're interested.