And thus it begins...

Again. Seems that life is full of beginnings, some times we choose to begin again, and others, its chosen for us it seems. This point in my life is one of the latter. I don't feel the necessity to delve into the details behind this apparent new beginning, but in a nut shell it was an un-enjoyable experience for me. However It was, I believe, a much needed experience. I'm seeing that as things continue to happen, God has his hand in my life.

Seems he's trying to tell me its time to straighten up and get things in order. Enough being the stagnant Christian I have been for a long time. I honestly wish that the circumstances could have been different. That heartache wasn't required for me to receive the proverbial slap in the face. But me being me, I guess God figured it would be a pretty effective way of throwing a curve into my life and knocking me back to take a look. As the youth pastor of the church I attend said to me, Sometimes you need to experience stuff first hand to get the message, thats paraphrased but its basically the idea. Someone can tell you that something isn't a good idea, but sometimes we choose to ignore their advice and need to experience the lows to get it. I apparently needed to hit this low though for my eyes to be opened.

Not only was God speaking to me about my current station in life, but also to our head pastor at the church as well. Seems that Gods been speaking to him about me, which is strange and yet amazing to me, and as such some things are changing for me. For one, I'm not on a worship team anymore, or involved in anything at the church for that matter. This is strange for me, because I've been involved with something at church for a long long time, and have been playing on a worship team for years now. It's going to be an adjustment for me to not be involved. I am also joining with a mentor at the church. I'm kind of excited for that. I'm not sure what its all about, but the idea is a good one, and I'm looking forward to seeing what God has in store for that. After a while, we'll see if I get back involved with things at the church. I'm trying not to allow myself to really have any preconceived notions of whether I will or won't get involved again until the time comes around. I just need to try and focus on my spiritual walk, and where I am in life.

Its sad to me that we as people seem to require a bad experience for us to focus on whats important really. I mean it makes sense, when things are good, why sit back and look at things to see where we're at. But at the same time. If we stood back and looked at things when they are going good, couldn't we possibly save ourself from some of the emotional roller coaster that we experience?

I don't know where God is taking me. Only that he is. I know that "he knows the plans he has for me". Its an exciting, and somewhat frightening time for me, but I trust him to support me and help me grow. So here's to new beginnings. Those we choose, and those that choose us.